it's raining mice!-demo day

Why are we fascinated with 60 year old garbage? We found a pile from the 50's , really what is so interesting about cookie boxes or empty cans, or cigarette cartons?! Oh and I could do without the mice skeletons falling on my head, who knows how old those were!

valuable

Today was a good day. The sun was shining, I was smiling. Though drywall mudding isn't the most fun. It is therapeutic. I am reminded I am valuable. I am worth something. I do bring something to people's lives

space

It's hard ending when it means giving up your best friend. It is also the problem with working with friends. Or rather becoming friends with your coworker. When these relationships end you lose an important relationship. I don't make friends easy and don't have alot of what I define as friends, but those I do have are very important to me.I do miss my partner and what having a partner means interms of having a friend there at all times. Though now I am not so sure I want to keep that friendship. The trust is lost, the care at this point is gone. I can't leave myself vulnerable to someone who hurt me that bad. If I was that bad in the relationship why keep me around? In otherwords, leave me be, let me heal

flags

How we miss the red flags along the way is bizarre. Today repeats the beginning. How could I over look it when it happened then. Who the heck has people that message The gf to stir up things. If they attract crazy that way what does that make me? I really second guess the whole 5 years. What was true. What was just what my mind wanted to see? why would I be so blinded by her? How did I give her the power to ruin my life and me.

In the beginning

Why does anyone start a blog? I do wonder. For me its just a place to vent, talk out, and work on things. So from here I start to rebuild my life, while I build things for others life.